I'm gonna doctor my feline ass wounds then sit in front of a fan now.
Monday
A fan? Really? Hmm.
Before I retire, I have to support my girls Thundercat and TOAR, both bloggers who made an appearance on blog radio. Give them a listen. Bring a change of underwear and an open mind. You will never think of vagina the same again.
Sunday
Me-OW!
Today was the first day all week where the sun hasn't been hiding behind clouds full of sky urine. So I decided that I would take advantage of this lovely Sunday and would go outside to tan.
I was outside for less than ten minutes, and it wasn't because of the sun being unbearable or because I forgot the suntan lotion. No. It was because Dex decided that he would go to any length to receive the attention he had been deprived of all day. I was stretched out on the deck with a book, the only time I have managed to do so in a long time. I could hear Dex mewing across the yard but paid no attention to it in the same manner as the book. Instead, I closed my eyes and let the sun shine on my face, a sensation that reminded me of what it is that I am to look forward to this summer. A sensation that I will share with Mike.
I was so completely involved in thinking about the up and coming summer that it came as a surprise to me when I felt a set of claws digging into my ass. Dex had laid down on my legs and placed a paw on each of my cheeks. By instinct my first response was to reach back to tie my bikini top. But the more I struggled with it, the deeper the claws went into my ass. I didn't know whether to laugh or cry!
Like anyone being molested by an animal, I tried to get away. I put my hands beneath his paws, then started to inch toward the edge of the bench I was laying on. But my bikini top was still untied and if I managed to slide off of the bench I'd find myself topless and sprawled out on a deck that desperately needs to be sanded.
So I called out as loud as a could to the only person who could understand my predicament, the woman who birthed me. By blood I have adopted her clumsiness and her ability to find herself in situations similar to this one.
"MOMMY!!!"
She never came, which arouses the suspicion that shit cloud has returned. I really hope it leaves by next week. Professors don't seem to take shit cloud into consideration when grading midterms.When I finally got away, I went inside feeling like I was just forced into experiencing a fetish as taboo as 2 girls 1 cup.
An hour later, a glimpse outside revealed a sleeping cat on the bench where I was laying. I guess he needed to recover from all of the ass he got. Literally.
I was outside for less than ten minutes, and it wasn't because of the sun being unbearable or because I forgot the suntan lotion. No. It was because Dex decided that he would go to any length to receive the attention he had been deprived of all day. I was stretched out on the deck with a book, the only time I have managed to do so in a long time. I could hear Dex mewing across the yard but paid no attention to it in the same manner as the book. Instead, I closed my eyes and let the sun shine on my face, a sensation that reminded me of what it is that I am to look forward to this summer. A sensation that I will share with Mike.
I was so completely involved in thinking about the up and coming summer that it came as a surprise to me when I felt a set of claws digging into my ass. Dex had laid down on my legs and placed a paw on each of my cheeks. By instinct my first response was to reach back to tie my bikini top. But the more I struggled with it, the deeper the claws went into my ass. I didn't know whether to laugh or cry!
Like anyone being molested by an animal, I tried to get away. I put my hands beneath his paws, then started to inch toward the edge of the bench I was laying on. But my bikini top was still untied and if I managed to slide off of the bench I'd find myself topless and sprawled out on a deck that desperately needs to be sanded.
So I called out as loud as a could to the only person who could understand my predicament, the woman who birthed me. By blood I have adopted her clumsiness and her ability to find herself in situations similar to this one.
"MOMMY!!!"
She never came, which arouses the suspicion that shit cloud has returned. I really hope it leaves by next week. Professors don't seem to take shit cloud into consideration when grading midterms.When I finally got away, I went inside feeling like I was just forced into experiencing a fetish as taboo as 2 girls 1 cup.
An hour later, a glimpse outside revealed a sleeping cat on the bench where I was laying. I guess he needed to recover from all of the ass he got. Literally.
Friday
Legally Motivated!
When all else fails, and no friends have a pill or two to spare that will keep my head focused on the books or on my workout, anything really, I pop in Legally Blonde. Because there is just something about a girl that no one takes seriously who kicks their asses in a court room that really motivates me to read Edgar Allen Poe. So I watched the movie, got hyped to do my homework, then read about murdering cats, an old man with a funky eye, and a wife. Then there was the repetitive theme of shoving their body parts into weird places throughout the house. I hugged Stella for a long time after I read it. A long time. I will never hang you from a tree my dearest feline. Please don't haunt me.
Speaking of animals, my new weenie got his ass handed to him by Dex, my parent's cat that they rescued from a fate of living off of wild mice and other things that carry diseases. At first he cried out and I thought nothing of it because he's a pansy, but then I picked him up and suddenly realized that maybe it was more serious than I thought because my white shirt was no longer white. It was dyed the color of, well, blood.
I could never be a doctor or anything dealing with bodily fluids on a daily basis. (But J-Roll! How on earth do you expect to be a momma bird in the future if you can't deal with stuff like that?) I'LL TELL YOU READER WHO ASKS OBVIOUS QUESTIONS!
When it comes to someone I care about, I go maternal ape shit. My niece spewed vomit all over the place and I was on it like no one's business. When Charlie was covered in metallic smelling substances, I took care of it! I can't claim that I didn't gag like, a million times AFTER everything was taken care of, but still. I won't be a parental unit who refuses to change a diaper or mop up puke or put pressure on a gaping wound.
...
Excuse me a moment.
...
Onto less grotesque news that makes me want to wear my toilet as a hat, I am almost finished with the first act of my musical! Say HUZZAH! and comment if you are just as excited as I am! Thank you Legally Blonde for motivating me to get my degree and for keeping me focused on important things like keeping my new dog alive, motherhood, and musicals.
Speaking of animals, my new weenie got his ass handed to him by Dex, my parent's cat that they rescued from a fate of living off of wild mice and other things that carry diseases. At first he cried out and I thought nothing of it because he's a pansy, but then I picked him up and suddenly realized that maybe it was more serious than I thought because my white shirt was no longer white. It was dyed the color of, well, blood.
I could never be a doctor or anything dealing with bodily fluids on a daily basis. (But J-Roll! How on earth do you expect to be a momma bird in the future if you can't deal with stuff like that?) I'LL TELL YOU READER WHO ASKS OBVIOUS QUESTIONS!
When it comes to someone I care about, I go maternal ape shit. My niece spewed vomit all over the place and I was on it like no one's business. When Charlie was covered in metallic smelling substances, I took care of it! I can't claim that I didn't gag like, a million times AFTER everything was taken care of, but still. I won't be a parental unit who refuses to change a diaper or mop up puke or put pressure on a gaping wound.
...
Excuse me a moment.
...
Onto less grotesque news that makes me want to wear my toilet as a hat, I am almost finished with the first act of my musical! Say HUZZAH! and comment if you are just as excited as I am! Thank you Legally Blonde for motivating me to get my degree and for keeping me focused on important things like keeping my new dog alive, motherhood, and musicals.
Tuesday
Sunday
No way to title this but "eeeeeeeee!"
The other day I found myself in quite the predicament. There I was, listening to my aunt's sad voice on the phone explaining how she can no longer keep a dog that has been in the family since I was in high school, and all I could think about was how I had mentioned surprising Michael with a dog to his family, which did not turn out too well for me. When I aroused from these thoughts, the tone in my aunt's voice had changed. Then we both hung up, and I suddenly came to the realization that I had said yes.
Thank you motor functions. You really know how to stick it to my vampires.
Today started earlier than usual. I had a child leap on me at 6:50 am, two hours after the last time I had glanced at the clock and six hours before I had to be in San Antonio to pick up the doggie. You see, when you are watching a child that is not your own overnight in a house that does not belong to you, you tend to be jumpy, uptight, and anal about every sound that could signal a disturbance in the force. I woke up to the cat wheezing, thinking that the kiddo was crying. I woke up every hour, on the hour in the same fashion-- me rolling from the couch onto the floor in a frenzy of pure panic. When I finally managed to get a nap in, my phone buzzed, revealing a text message from Michael.
[4:48 am]
"Wow dream. I love you so much.
Please stop killing all the pandas in
my subconscious in that bunny suit!"
...
...
I...
...
...
What the fuck?
So yeah. Eventful night and morning. When the afternoon came, I found myself in a predicament of a more heinous nature. Charlie the weenie dog gets car sick, a detail I had forgotten until I was reminded ten minutes before my journey back to Canyon Lake. An hour drive. An hour. HOUR. Luckily he kept all of the fluids to himself and the car ride was a vomit free one. That didn't make it any less stressful though. With every yawn and every pant, I expected to be showered in liquidated biscuits.
Mom told me that shit cloud would take a break in 2011 to rest up for 2012. She was right. This year has been a great one so far. I have a dog, a cat, and a boyfriend in the military who just received news of his next station.
Drum-roll please!
Scroll down for effect.
GALVESTON!
Could life give me anything more? Could I ever be more satisfied? Keep raining the goodness on me baby! Michael and I have been celebrating the news with frequent Skype chats, which is so nice after weeks of barely speaking when he was in EMT school. The conversation that took place today went a little something like this.
Me: Guess what I'm eating.
Mike: Cookies!
Me: With a fork Mike?
Mike: ...Why are you eating cookies with a fork?
I was eating S.O.S, FYI. The internet connection was not working in our favor today, but I managed to get this in:
Thank you motor functions. You really know how to stick it to my vampires.
Today started earlier than usual. I had a child leap on me at 6:50 am, two hours after the last time I had glanced at the clock and six hours before I had to be in San Antonio to pick up the doggie. You see, when you are watching a child that is not your own overnight in a house that does not belong to you, you tend to be jumpy, uptight, and anal about every sound that could signal a disturbance in the force. I woke up to the cat wheezing, thinking that the kiddo was crying. I woke up every hour, on the hour in the same fashion-- me rolling from the couch onto the floor in a frenzy of pure panic. When I finally managed to get a nap in, my phone buzzed, revealing a text message from Michael.
[4:48 am]
"Wow dream. I love you so much.
Please stop killing all the pandas in
my subconscious in that bunny suit!"
...
...
I...
...
...
What the fuck?
So yeah. Eventful night and morning. When the afternoon came, I found myself in a predicament of a more heinous nature. Charlie the weenie dog gets car sick, a detail I had forgotten until I was reminded ten minutes before my journey back to Canyon Lake. An hour drive. An hour. HOUR. Luckily he kept all of the fluids to himself and the car ride was a vomit free one. That didn't make it any less stressful though. With every yawn and every pant, I expected to be showered in liquidated biscuits.
Mom told me that shit cloud would take a break in 2011 to rest up for 2012. She was right. This year has been a great one so far. I have a dog, a cat, and a boyfriend in the military who just received news of his next station.
Drum-roll please!
Scroll down for effect.
GALVESTON!
Could life give me anything more? Could I ever be more satisfied? Keep raining the goodness on me baby! Michael and I have been celebrating the news with frequent Skype chats, which is so nice after weeks of barely speaking when he was in EMT school. The conversation that took place today went a little something like this.
Me: Guess what I'm eating.
Mike: Cookies!
Me: With a fork Mike?
Mike: ...Why are you eating cookies with a fork?
I was eating S.O.S, FYI. The internet connection was not working in our favor today, but I managed to get this in:
Charlie, welcome to the family. And Michael, welcome to Texas! I can't wait for the two of you to meet.
Friday
Vampires DON'T sparkle
The closer I get to finishing this musical, the closer I get to the reality of whether or not it is going to take me places. Sometimes I find myself awake at night because of insecurities that eat away at me until I settle on the idea of giving up and getting a different, realistic hobby. Like... um...
Okay. So I'm not really good at anything else. I've been told that I can sing, but that is just as unrealistic as convincing myself that I can make it in this world with my ideas alone. But they are really good ideas. At least I think they are, until those insecurities creep up on me again and try to convince me that I am wasting my time and should just settle on something easier, like a steady paying job. But that's no fun. I don't mind being a starving artist. I don't care about how much money I pocket from these projects. I just want to have my ideas and stories out in the world for people to enjoy. I cannot express to you enough how much of a struggle it is for me to keep all of these ideas and stories in my head. Eventually I am going to run out of room because everything seems to have the potential to be inspiration for a story. But sometimes insecurities outweigh inspiration.
Recently I found out that Michael's Mom thinks that my writing is mediocre, nothing special. Along with my previous demons, those words played in repetitions in my mind and weighed down on my shoulders as I continued to push myself to work on these projects. The more they beat on my confidence, the more it showed in my content. I was discouraged, and even contemplated giving up on my blog. I had let the devil on my shoulder win, which makes me think about all of the writers with potential out there who let their demons take hold of them. How many books weren't published because some writer stopped before finishing? How many poems? How many works of art have I not seen because someone's demons silenced their creativity?
That's when the angel on my shoulder stepped in. She called these insecurities "vampires." They'd suck away my confidence and leave me bled dry of what made me, well, me.
Thank you Bloggess.
Since listening to this song, I've really made progress on the musical. The vampires still lurk outside of my door, but I'm well equipped with garlic and crucifixes. I assume they won't be returning to haunt me anytime soon. Die Vampire Die!
So I've come to one conclusion. Vampires DO NOT sparkle. YOU do when you overcome them.
Okay. So I'm not really good at anything else. I've been told that I can sing, but that is just as unrealistic as convincing myself that I can make it in this world with my ideas alone. But they are really good ideas. At least I think they are, until those insecurities creep up on me again and try to convince me that I am wasting my time and should just settle on something easier, like a steady paying job. But that's no fun. I don't mind being a starving artist. I don't care about how much money I pocket from these projects. I just want to have my ideas and stories out in the world for people to enjoy. I cannot express to you enough how much of a struggle it is for me to keep all of these ideas and stories in my head. Eventually I am going to run out of room because everything seems to have the potential to be inspiration for a story. But sometimes insecurities outweigh inspiration.
Recently I found out that Michael's Mom thinks that my writing is mediocre, nothing special. Along with my previous demons, those words played in repetitions in my mind and weighed down on my shoulders as I continued to push myself to work on these projects. The more they beat on my confidence, the more it showed in my content. I was discouraged, and even contemplated giving up on my blog. I had let the devil on my shoulder win, which makes me think about all of the writers with potential out there who let their demons take hold of them. How many books weren't published because some writer stopped before finishing? How many poems? How many works of art have I not seen because someone's demons silenced their creativity?
That's when the angel on my shoulder stepped in. She called these insecurities "vampires." They'd suck away my confidence and leave me bled dry of what made me, well, me.
Thank you Bloggess.
Since listening to this song, I've really made progress on the musical. The vampires still lurk outside of my door, but I'm well equipped with garlic and crucifixes. I assume they won't be returning to haunt me anytime soon. Die Vampire Die!
So I've come to one conclusion. Vampires DO NOT sparkle. YOU do when you overcome them.
Thursday
I swear someone slipped something into my cereal this morning.
My mind and memory are running a mile a minute because I feel like I haven't spoken to you guys about what's been going on in my life and that is what a blog is about so technically I'm not fulfilling my duty as a blogger and I should be ashamed that I haven't talked about half of the things that have occurred since last weekend other than getting a computer virus which has totally been taken care of and what on Earth is up with me not talking about the fabulous party I was able to attend because my boss took my shift I need oxygen oh my God.
Yeah, I'm in one of those moods today.
So I am going to cover the minor details first, then we can move onto bigger and better things-- like penis cupcakes, T&A cookies that went horribly yet not so horribly wrong, and a few awards that have been bestowed upon me by a few friends in the blogging community. Firstly, the good news. I have made some real progress on the dialog in my musical and am searching for volunteers to run lines with me soon so I can hear the words out loud and tweak them into perfection. So there is that, and that makes me happy. I hope to be finished by the end of May. When I'm feeling optimistic, I aim for the day I go to see Mike's graduation in California, which is toward the middle of May. A week is a big difference. You can get a lot done in a week. (Or you can PLAN to get a lot done then slack off like I do.)
More good news! I aced my first American Literature Exam and my boyfriend overnighted two dozen tulips to me for Valentine's Day, which I'll get into on a whole separate post. It totally deserves a post of its own.
Now for the shit news. I just found out that I can't cram the rest of my mandatory classes into the remaining semesters before graduation next Spring, so it looks like I'll have to wait an extra semester or two before Michael and I can live together. I'm sure that will make his family very happy. So I suppose in a way it's a good thing. It's like I'm suffering, but sucking up at the same time. I'm losing and they are gaining, so technically I'm gaining...
Always a brighter side to being hated! (Insert dramatic sobbing sounds here)
Now for more mediocre news. I have 49674 writing projects that I'm working on. It is so difficult having so many writing projects that I can't really talk about other than brief updates like "worked on the book today" and "too lazy to finish the short story last night." I wish I could discuss the content of these projects, but a wise friend with expertise in situations of a similar nature advised against it. So, with all of my willpower, I am going to listen, because if I ever hope to be a good writer, I've got to earn to take advice from professionals. Oh come on, it's harder than you think. I'm a stubborn little shit and I get excited about what I write, so I like to share. My blog is a perfect example of this. But even if artistic thievery weren't an issue, I feel like if I gave too much away on here, I'd be jinxing myself in the long run. No one wants that, especially me.
Well okay. I could think of a few people who'd enjoy seeing me fail. Let's just leave that list alone.
Let's get happy again. I have a new link up top, a tab I never imagined getting so soon in the game. "Awards." It's plural guys. That means that there is more than one. That means that more than one person thinks that I'm super. I sch'wear to God I didn't award them to myself. I'm just sch'o popular.
Thanks to TOAR at Thoughts of a Randomista, Andres Rio from Good Music, Bad Math and Christine from The New Adventures of Christine for the collection of awards! This is belated, but no less full of gratitude and a plethora of love.
So apparently, to receive these awards, you must abide by some rules (that I am currently hunting down so bear with me). Christine says that I must tell five things about myself and mix in a few lies. That sounds easy enough. I HEREBY ACCEPT THESE AWARDS BY LYING TO MY READERS. Best condition ever.
1. I met my boyfriend online about five years ago. We've been dating for about nine months now.
2. I collect lawn gnomes.
3. I fractured my elbow and wrist dancing in a Chili's parking lot.
4. My co-worker bumped me into the display case at work and bruised my vaginal bone.
5. I took a bubble bath in a hot tub with my boss and co-workers.
One fact is indeed not a fact. It is a deceiver. Don't believe what it tells you.
Onto choosing three people to pass this lovely .gif onto!
1. @Thundercat: Hands down the easiest pick. I don't need to explain how full of awesome this chick is.
2. @Freeflying: From the start she supported me and stuck with me as I developed as a blogger. Since then, every time I fly to see Mike, I wonder if I'll run into her. One of my favorite bloggers by far.
3. @JRuud: My first friend on 20sb. This girl lights up my life with her attitude. I see rainbows and sunshine after I read her cheery posts.
Dun dun DUN!
...God, I must have way too much sugar in my system. I'll post pictures from the party when I'm less of a spaz and more of a regular functioning human being. Of course it would also make sense to have the camera/memory card on me. Which I don't. I am so unprepared and too hyper to care. I totally just rhymed.
Yeah, I'm in one of those moods today.
So I am going to cover the minor details first, then we can move onto bigger and better things-- like penis cupcakes, T&A cookies that went horribly yet not so horribly wrong, and a few awards that have been bestowed upon me by a few friends in the blogging community. Firstly, the good news. I have made some real progress on the dialog in my musical and am searching for volunteers to run lines with me soon so I can hear the words out loud and tweak them into perfection. So there is that, and that makes me happy. I hope to be finished by the end of May. When I'm feeling optimistic, I aim for the day I go to see Mike's graduation in California, which is toward the middle of May. A week is a big difference. You can get a lot done in a week. (Or you can PLAN to get a lot done then slack off like I do.)
More good news! I aced my first American Literature Exam and my boyfriend overnighted two dozen tulips to me for Valentine's Day, which I'll get into on a whole separate post. It totally deserves a post of its own.
Now for the shit news. I just found out that I can't cram the rest of my mandatory classes into the remaining semesters before graduation next Spring, so it looks like I'll have to wait an extra semester or two before Michael and I can live together. I'm sure that will make his family very happy. So I suppose in a way it's a good thing. It's like I'm suffering, but sucking up at the same time. I'm losing and they are gaining, so technically I'm gaining...
Always a brighter side to being hated! (Insert dramatic sobbing sounds here)
Now for more mediocre news. I have 49674 writing projects that I'm working on. It is so difficult having so many writing projects that I can't really talk about other than brief updates like "worked on the book today" and "too lazy to finish the short story last night." I wish I could discuss the content of these projects, but a wise friend with expertise in situations of a similar nature advised against it. So, with all of my willpower, I am going to listen, because if I ever hope to be a good writer, I've got to earn to take advice from professionals. Oh come on, it's harder than you think. I'm a stubborn little shit and I get excited about what I write, so I like to share. My blog is a perfect example of this. But even if artistic thievery weren't an issue, I feel like if I gave too much away on here, I'd be jinxing myself in the long run. No one wants that, especially me.
Well okay. I could think of a few people who'd enjoy seeing me fail. Let's just leave that list alone.
Let's get happy again. I have a new link up top, a tab I never imagined getting so soon in the game. "Awards." It's plural guys. That means that there is more than one. That means that more than one person thinks that I'm super. I sch'wear to God I didn't award them to myself. I'm just sch'o popular.
Thanks to TOAR at Thoughts of a Randomista, Andres Rio from Good Music, Bad Math and Christine from The New Adventures of Christine for the collection of awards! This is belated, but no less full of gratitude and a plethora of love.
So apparently, to receive these awards, you must abide by some rules (that I am currently hunting down so bear with me). Christine says that I must tell five things about myself and mix in a few lies. That sounds easy enough. I HEREBY ACCEPT THESE AWARDS BY LYING TO MY READERS. Best condition ever.
1. I met my boyfriend online about five years ago. We've been dating for about nine months now.
2. I collect lawn gnomes.
3. I fractured my elbow and wrist dancing in a Chili's parking lot.
4. My co-worker bumped me into the display case at work and bruised my vaginal bone.
5. I took a bubble bath in a hot tub with my boss and co-workers.
One fact is indeed not a fact. It is a deceiver. Don't believe what it tells you.
Onto choosing three people to pass this lovely .gif onto!
1. @Thundercat: Hands down the easiest pick. I don't need to explain how full of awesome this chick is.
2. @Freeflying: From the start she supported me and stuck with me as I developed as a blogger. Since then, every time I fly to see Mike, I wonder if I'll run into her. One of my favorite bloggers by far.
3. @JRuud: My first friend on 20sb. This girl lights up my life with her attitude. I see rainbows and sunshine after I read her cheery posts.
Dun dun DUN!
...God, I must have way too much sugar in my system. I'll post pictures from the party when I'm less of a spaz and more of a regular functioning human being. Of course it would also make sense to have the camera/memory card on me. Which I don't. I am so unprepared and too hyper to care. I totally just rhymed.
Monday
Love overload. And viruses too.
Then... At midnight...
...my heart exploded. And so did Michael's news feed. And everyone else's.
Then!
And Michael, being Michael, decided that in retaliation to overdosing on love songs, he'd spam me right back.
And so he did. Then something unexpected happened.
So I clicked it, expecting something romantic on the other side of the link.
Thanks for the virus baby. Happy Valentine's Day.
Thursday
Thursdays
I'm sitting by the window one of my favorite places in San Marcos because Thursdays offer me enough free time to explore the hot spots here. It's so peaceful watching people meander by, subjects of the beautiful sunlight that's finally showed its face after a week of being stifled by the weather. I find myself the most inspired here in this haven of berets, mocha lattes, local art and vegan appetites. Here, by this window, time slows and I'm able to revel in it.
I thought when I was creating my schedule for the semester that if I set up my classes ten minutes apart the day would go by faster. Now, though I got what I wished for, I want to slow down. I want to be able to have the time to wander around campus between classes, give my rear end muscles a break, breathe in the fresh air and explore downtown-- maybe even fit in time for a cup of coffee. I am a woman of many paces, but I am starting to discover that maybe I should stop rushing through life and just sit back for the ride. Or maybe I'm just never satisfied.
That doesn't always have to be a bad thing though.
The moment my life turns in one direction, I want to have the option to stray, even if I choose not to do so. There's a sense of being limitless that way. But when I have to adapt to a strict schedule with no room for moments like these, where I can just stop for a second and marvel at life, I feel suffocated.
That is why I am so grateful for Thursdays. One class in the morning, work at night. The whole town is my playground and I have hours to use up just sitting around, soaking it all in. Inspiration travels with me this way.
Time to work on the musical.
I thought when I was creating my schedule for the semester that if I set up my classes ten minutes apart the day would go by faster. Now, though I got what I wished for, I want to slow down. I want to be able to have the time to wander around campus between classes, give my rear end muscles a break, breathe in the fresh air and explore downtown-- maybe even fit in time for a cup of coffee. I am a woman of many paces, but I am starting to discover that maybe I should stop rushing through life and just sit back for the ride. Or maybe I'm just never satisfied.
That doesn't always have to be a bad thing though.
The moment my life turns in one direction, I want to have the option to stray, even if I choose not to do so. There's a sense of being limitless that way. But when I have to adapt to a strict schedule with no room for moments like these, where I can just stop for a second and marvel at life, I feel suffocated.
That is why I am so grateful for Thursdays. One class in the morning, work at night. The whole town is my playground and I have hours to use up just sitting around, soaking it all in. Inspiration travels with me this way.
Time to work on the musical.
Friday
Good things must come in pairs.
I guess with the change in weather came too a change in luck. But I will get to that in a moment. Last night was one of the best I've had since being in Alaska. It is hard to compete with hanging out with a bunch of drunken sailors everyday, but last night held its own and is up there with the big leagues.
The night started like any regular night with shitty weather. The Stratosphere Lounge was as empty as my bed every night. (OH. Unexpected stab in the heart much, Jess?) I don't mind a vacant building much when I open shop because I don't get tips with that shift. The slower it is, the less I have to clean. It gives me the freedom to prance around, give the mid-shift a hard time, and be loud and obnoxious. This night is a perfect example of what can happen when business is slow, and that example is just mediocre. I am capable of being much worse. I get ornery when there are no customers to attend to, which was the situation last night.
The night started like any regular night with shitty weather. The Stratosphere Lounge was as empty as my bed every night. (OH. Unexpected stab in the heart much, Jess?) I don't mind a vacant building much when I open shop because I don't get tips with that shift. The slower it is, the less I have to clean. It gives me the freedom to prance around, give the mid-shift a hard time, and be loud and obnoxious. This night is a perfect example of what can happen when business is slow, and that example is just mediocre. I am capable of being much worse. I get ornery when there are no customers to attend to, which was the situation last night.
Thursday
To write, I must party.
I planned a party of sorts this weekend that I may not even be able to attend because I can't get my shift covered on Saturday. I'd list off every profanity in the book right now if that could communicate to you how I'm feeling right now, but my patience is withering away every moment I am not in the clear to go to this damn party.
So while my blood begins to cool from the simmer it was experiencing previously, I have decided to focus on one of my many writing projects. It is a musical of epic proportions. Before you scoff and remind me of how competitive and unrealistic the world of the arts can be, I am completely aware. You don't have to remind me. But this is not just something I am doing half-assed. I am practically putting my soul into this. Broadway, I AM COMING FOR YOU.
Wednesday
Let's just focus on the boogers kids.
My reward for classes being cancelled today is being surrounded by children who constantly feel the need to nark on each other and go poop with the door wide open. One of the kids asked "Are boogers always green?" from across the room and it completely caught me off guard because I am still fending off the mentality that I had adopted last night when I posted. My Mom seemed caught off guard too, which surprised me more than the question itself because she must hear questions like this everyday. She has been trained in the art of answering strange questions that manifest in the minds and escape through the mouths of three-year-olds. You have to maintain a good sense of humor when you are around kids all of the time.
Bliss before the storm
I often think back on the moment I decided that I would transfer schools to be closer to Michael. That whole week, there had been this proposal for me to move to Alaska weighing down on my shoulders and I had spent the entirety of that week identifying the pros and cons of said proposal. I had told Michael that I couldn't do it and I named off every excuse in the book with ease. But then I would return to the subject the very next day because it had never truly been put to rest in my mind. The idea persistently poked and prodded at me, even when I thought that I had finally made up my mind. The reason that it bothered me so much to say no was because it was actually possible for me to go.
It just not practical, realistic or a smart choice to make.
It just not practical, realistic or a smart choice to make.
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