Me-OW!

Today was the first day all week where the sun hasn't been hiding behind clouds full of sky urine. So I decided that I would take advantage of this lovely Sunday and would go outside to tan.

I was outside for less than ten minutes, and it wasn't because of the sun being unbearable or because I forgot the suntan lotion. No. It was because Dex decided that he would go to any length to receive the attention he had been deprived of all day. I was stretched out on the deck with a book, the only time I have managed to do so in a long time. I could hear Dex mewing across the yard but paid no attention to it in the same manner as the book. Instead, I closed my eyes and let the sun shine on my face, a sensation that reminded me of what it is that I am to look forward to this summer. A sensation that I will share with Mike.

I was so completely involved in thinking about the up and coming summer that it came as a surprise to me when I felt a set of claws digging into my ass. Dex had laid down on my legs and placed a paw on each of my cheeks. By instinct my first response was to reach back to tie my bikini top. But the more I struggled with it, the deeper the claws went into my ass. I didn't know whether to laugh or cry!

Like anyone being molested by an animal, I tried to get away. I put my hands beneath his paws, then started to inch toward the edge of the bench I was laying on. But my bikini top was still untied and if I managed to slide off of the bench I'd find myself topless and sprawled out on a deck that desperately needs to be sanded.

So I called out as loud as a could to the only person who could understand my predicament, the woman who birthed me. By blood I have adopted her clumsiness and her ability to find herself in situations similar to this one.

"MOMMY!!!"

She never came, which arouses the suspicion that shit cloud has returned. I really hope it leaves by next week.  Professors don't seem to take shit cloud into consideration when grading midterms.When I finally got away, I went inside feeling like I was just forced into experiencing a fetish as taboo as 2 girls 1 cup.

An hour later, a glimpse outside revealed a sleeping cat on the bench where I was laying. I guess he needed to recover from all of the ass he got. Literally.