I like living, thank you.

It is hard to have adventures in Alaska when there is so much damn ice on the road. The weather condemns you to stay put and that is hard to do when you are restless and live in a small town like Homer. But even if I wanted to to venture out and the weather allowed it, there is still one small issue-- I don't have a car.

Mike has been hassling me to learn how to drive his truck so that I can have a means of transportation during the day while he's at work. It makes sense, right? How hard can driving a stick shift be?

Reasons why I refuse:
I don't want to destroy his truck.
His truck barely makes it up hills.
He has trouble driving his truck.
I don't feel like learning how to drive on ice and learning how to drive stick shift at the same flippin' time.
Most of Mike's friends are afraid of his truck.

If those aren't reason enough and ya'll think I'm being ridiculous, I have more. His truck stalls out a lot. His Alaskan friends advise me not to learn in this weather. His truck is attracted to ditches. His truck slides across the road like it was made to do just that.

Still not reason enough?

Then your name is probably Michael.