First off, I grew up with my Dad, a man who is so haunted by his cholesterol issues that he stands in the pantry shouting "sonofabitch!" every time he reads a food label high in sodium, sugar, and fat-- pretty much all of the food he consumed daily before I intervened. My Mom always says, "Men never grow up. The only difference between a five-year-old and a fifty-year-old is that their toys are more advanced." So far, today has proven this to the point of overkill.
Earlier Mike and I went to the convenience store to finally pick up some cough medicine for me and we managed to wander into the toy section. I have never seen a man so amused by bouncy balls before. What is when men and spherical toys? And dragon figurines? And battery-powered musical instruments? We ended up walking out with more toys than items of convenience. We spent one minute in the pharmacy and twenty looking at aged toys that should have stayed in the 90's.
Onto the next thing men do. They will go to any length to make things more convenient. Why get a stand for the TV if you can use a mini-fridge instead? And why have drawers when we have perfectly good crates laying about? (asdfghjkl!) Well, after a much needed shower, I stepped out to find Mike trying on my jeans and examining himself with a pleased look on his face. Me? I didn't know what the heck to think of it. So of course, I asked.
"What are you doing?"
"My pants are too loose," he replied.
Silence.
"Yeahhh... these are much better."
He's still wearing them. Still don't know what the heck to think of it. I try not to look below his chin for fear of stereotyping.
I won't bother writing out all of the things the man says when playing video games.
"I took those guys down all by myself!"
Yes you did baby.
No! He stole your jeans?!? That is freaking hilarious.
ReplyDeleteHe really did. And on more than one occasion might I add.
ReplyDeleteHAHAHA, that reminds me of Matt.
ReplyDeleteWe were getting ready to go out somewhere and I came out of the bathroom looking for my jeans. I walked in to the room and stood frozen with my eyes like this O_O;
He was pulling my jeans on but as soon as he pulled them as far as they could go, he realized that the legs were to short, way to short. He slowly looked up at me and kinda smirked and chuckled goof-ily and said "Oh, I think these are your jeans." and slowly took them off and I just busted out laughing.
You should have taken a pic, Jess.