Cash or GTFO

I have never wanted to wail on someone's face with such an intensity that their bodies would puncture a hole into the floor with the sheer force of my fists. Yeah. That's right. I was beyond agitated at the girl and her friends who thought that it was acceptable to make me suffer for the cash register not working after the internet flickered out. Technology hates me and apparently that relationship directly effects whether or not I get tips. Because obviously it's in my power if the credit card machine works, because I am just an evil bitch who likes to make people suffer, which leads to me suffering, which makes no sense Miss "Just Turned 18 and Hates to Pay in Cash Instead of Using Daddy's Credit Card." Here is a little taste of why I wanted to turn her face into a crater.

(Group approaches the counter to cash their tab out)

Me: "I am so incredibly sorry. Our credit card machine is on the fritz. I can get you out of here sooner if you pay in cash, but if you can only pay with credit then you'll have to wait until I can get the register up and running again."

Girl: "So let me get this straight. You are going to MAKE me pay in cash?

Me: "Not necessarily. I should be able to get this fixed within the next few minutes if you don't mind waiting."

Girl: "No! This is bullshit!"

Me: "Ma'am?"

Girl: "I just think it's ridiculous that you don't know what the hell you are doing. How long has it not been working?"

Me:  (counting to ten in my mind) "It was giving us issues before, but then it started working. Now it's giving me trouble again."

Girl: "How long ago?"

Me: "About an hour ma'am." (Ma'am?! She's 18!)

Girl: So you're telling me that you had a whole hour to fix it and you are just now getting around to it? Bullshit.

Me: You know what is bullshit you ungrateful brat? You getting on my ass for something I cannot control. It's hard enough waiting on you and your friends when you toss your trash on the floor and knock ash all over the damn place when you pick up your tongs and start needlessly poking at your coal. Also, I let slide that you had your stank ass feet all over the table where people put their FOOD. Is this how you treat people who wait on you for minimum wage? Obviously you have never worked in the service industry. You don't know what bullshit is until you work in the service industry. I've been enduring you and everyone else in this room's bullshit for the last four hours that I've clocked in, so don't tell me that it is my fault for making this job harder than it already is. I'm not a masochist. If it was up to me, you would have been out of here an hour ago so I could clean up the big ass mess and disassembled hookah parts you left behind, along with the fifty cents you call a tip. I am the hostess here. I am the cook. I am the waitress. I am the bus boy. I do everything. I am running around all over the place trying to make you as comfortable as possible. The only thing I do not know how to do is FIX THIS FUCKING REGISTER. So, I guess I should learn a new trade in "how to avoid technology issues" because we all know that technology is the most reliable thing in the whole wide fucking world. Go drive your Daddy's Volvo off of a cliff.

Me: Yes ma'am.

...I didn't get a tip.

Ever since I started working at the hookah lounge two years ago I have a new appreciation for the people who tend to my needs. It is so incredibly hard working to serve others, then managing to remain polite when being dealt abusive insults like the ones exchanged above. The sad thing is, these encounters happen all of the time. Look, your servers may be strangers, but I ask that you be patient with them as well. You do not know what kind of trials they face, why they need the job, who they are supporting, or what kind of day they have had. Chances are that if you did, you'd think twice before pointing a finger in their face then leaving them empty handed.