A not so Merry Christmas after all

My brief hiatus from Blogger was justified I assure you. I say this with extreme distaste because after being forced back into Texas against my will and due to the many brief instances of bad luck that followed, I was pretty set on something going my way. Just a little bit. It's the holidays. So I thought that Mike flying down from New York on Sunday would have satisfied my desire for something good to happen. But I was wrong. You see, shit cloud decided to disguise itself as a blizzard and poo snow all over the Northeast instead, keeping Mike stranded at the airport and unable to fly at all because the planes were grounded. There was nothing that we could do. Ugh.

I took it hard at first. The night that he was supposed to fly in I kept taking note of the time, counting down to 6:14 when his plane was supposed to land. The wait was unbearable because I knew that reality wouldn't set in until 6:14 had come and gone. When it did, the sadness was somewhat alleviated. Amber came over with wine and whiskey and stayed to raise my spirits. My parents tried to make me feel better by making me laugh. They all tried so hard. We played board games, sat outside and talked. But my mind wandered to more creative ways to make the situation feel even more unmanageable. The entirety of the night I couldn't help but think, "Mike could be sitting next to me right now" or "Mike would have laughed at that too." Later that night when everyone retired to their rooms, I thought "he should be sleeping next to me tonight."

Fuck you snow.

The next day when Amber left I found that I had little motivation to take the time to do anything productive. I immersed myself in video games and liquor, which was what I did the previous night minus the video games. I was supposed to be taking care of my apartment situation, which is a mess. I also needed to drive into town to get my Jeep inspected. There are a variety of things that I was supposed to be taking care of, but all I wanted to do was sleep and wait until after Thursday so the "what ifs" would go away.

Now that it's Wednesday I'm feeling alright- well, in a relatively better state than before I suppose. Booze, friends, and laughs were involved. Many laughs. An entire night dedicated to nostalgia and a good time. Now I understand why Mike's schedule fills up so fast when we're not together. Distractions are key to escape. I envied him for that for a while, but now that I got my own taste of what it is like to run away from the situation for a night, I can't be upset anymore. He's hurting too.

I figured that a week of posts dedicated to the sadness I've been experiencing would really force some of my readers away. No one likes a downer. So I figure the best way to go about getting over it is to write it out in one post and move on to bigger and better things. Funnier things. Things that make no sense. Y'know, the usual shit I rant about. But in the end this is a Blog about my life and right now things aren't going smoothly. So here's my crash ya'll. The lowest of the low. Everyone has been telling me that my luck can only get better from here, but that was frequently preached after the New York incident so I am preparing myself for the worst. It can always get worse. But that does not mean I'm not hoping for things to get better.

In the end, I still have Michael. I still have love. That's all that matters.