A Man's Perspective: The Burial Edition

Me: "I want to be cremated. Hands down."

Mike: "Well yeah, everyone wants to be cremated. But have you really thought it through? What if there's a zombie apocalypse?"

Me: "What about it?"

Mike: "A zombie apocalypse. Don't you want to be reanimated into a zombie?"

Me: "If there's a zombie apocalypse, I highly doubt it is going to involve reanimated corpses."

Mike: "What? It's all about the black magic."

Me: "No. It's going to be more like the modern version of zombie, like a disease or a parasite."

Mike: "Why? Because it's cool and hip to be a modern disease zombie? Voodoo has been around way longer."

Me: "It's more realistic."

Mike: "Black magic. I refuse your modern theories and reality."

Me: "If I come back with black magic I'll be like, a dust spirit zombie combination!"

Mike: "Yeah, but you'd still be dust."

Me: "But I would be hard to kill. I'd be little floating particles-- meaning I'd be more evasive!"

Mike: "Still dust."

Me: "I'm guessing you want to be buried because of this."

Mike: "I don't know yet."

Me: "You can't base something like this over the cool idea of being reanimated into the living dead."

Mike: "Yes I can. What else am I going to be doing with my time? I am going to be dead. May as well plan for a zombie apocalypse."

Me: "That is just false hope."

Mike: "No hope when you're dead. Maybe as well be walking around, eating people."