Just Got Off of Work and I'm Ranting Again

It is sad to me that I haven't written a blog in a while, though I'm not surprised; my inspiration is out of reach for the time being. My current yet extremely temporary muse is this overwhelming feeling that has a grip on me. It's an idea that makes me feel anxious and out of control. My current status on Facebook is this:

As a child you are encouraged to pursue your dreams wholeheartedly. When you mature and begin to make sacrifices to pursue said dreams, you are viewed as unrealistic.

If life were to achieve perfection, it would be this: I would drop everything that I am doing (my job and my school) and I would go to be with Michael. When I was in Alaska I got a taste of what it would be like to have him coming home to me everyday. I for once felt content. Then I left. 

I've reached a stalemate in my life, some sort of obstacle I can't find a way around. I know what I want, I just can't have it right now. But I want it now. Even worse, I thought that writing this book would help me cope, but I can't finish it with him gone. It is about him after all.